Midnight Thoughts

02:37       Kau langkahkan kakimu menuju satu-satunya bar yang masih buka. Kau berjalan di bawah temaram lampu jalan ditemani suara lolongan anjing dan desisan kucing yang bertengkar memperebutkan tulang ikan.        Kau memilih duduk di kursi paling ujung dekat jendela. Menatap sendu jalanan yang masih basah sisa hujan malam itu. Segelas bir dingin mendarat di depanmu. Tanpa kau minta, Rino si bartender sudah hapal dengan kebiasaanmu.  02:45      Kau meminum segelas bir, meneguknya pelan-pelan.  03.10      Ke toilet selama 5 menit, lalu meminta segelas air dingin.  03.15      Kau diam memandangi jalanan dengan mata sendumu.     Kau tak pernah bicara selain memesan minumanmu. Rino juga tidak pernah bertanya setelah kau mengacuhkannya di hari pertamamu mengunjungi bar itu. Rino tahu, hanya orang terluka dan berduka yang mengunjungi bar setelah tengah malam.  ...

*Ting Tong*  Pintu dengan knob yang mulai berkarat itu terbuka lebar. Memperlihatkan seorang laki-laki yang umurnya lebih dari setengah abad, berpakaian rapi dan membawa secangkir kopi di tangannya.  "Koran, Pak." Ujar Si Bocah pengantar koran yang sudah mengayuh sepeda onta reyot itu selama belasan tahun. Dia sudah tak pantas lagi dipanggil bocah. Namun, semua orang menganggap dia bocah, karena pada kenyataannya, dibandingkan pelanggan setianya. Dia masih seorang bocah, yang belum bau tanah.  "Tak ada lowongan pekerjaan di koran hari ini, Pak." Kata Si Bocah.  "Sayang sekali, padahal anakku masih nganggur." Jawab si pelanggan itu.  Si Bocah Koran pamit dan mulai mengayuh sepedanya, keluar dari halaman rumah yang penuh bunga-bunga dan pohon rambutan yang sebentar lagi berbuah. Si pelanggan itu bernama Pak Danar, yang setiap hari selalu menunggu Si Bocah Koran mengantarkan koran hariannya. Sesekali, dia juga mendapatkan brosur, selebaran yang ditemukan di j...

Had another talk about where it's going wrong But we're still young We don't know where we're going But we know where we belong And oh we started Two hearts in one home It's hard when we argue We're both stubborn I know, but oh Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home Sweet creature We're running through the garden Oh, where nothing bothered us But we're still young I always think about you and how we don't speak enough And oh we started Two hearts in one home I know, it's hard when we argue We're both stubborn I know, but oh Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me home Sweet creature, sweet creature When I run out of road, you bring me home I know when we started Just two hearts in one home It gets harder when we argue We're both stubborn I know, but oh Sweet creature, sweet creature Wherever I go, you bring me ...

Life starts at 00.00. When the neighborhood is sleeping and the night walkers are starting to go out.  Life starts at the time when I eat cereal for snacks instead of drinking bitter coffee that I hate to keep my eyes open in the morning.  My life starts at the time I turn off my laptop and continue living my daydream.  Life starts at the time when I finally have time for myself. 

  Do you remember the last day of 2019 and how you screamed that 2020 will be your best year? All the dreams and hopes you fight for will come true. You tried to make it happened and you work so hard for it. Sometimes you lose some sleep, had an argument or two with your close ones, lose your appetite or your wallet was very incorporate with you. You fight so hard to make your dreams come true. And then, 2020 happened. Or happening since it’s still going on. The flooded in Jakarta, a wildfire in Australia, your hero died (may Kobe and Gigi Bryant are in peace). And then suddenly, this pandemic forced you to stay home. Some of you might stuck in your rented room all by yourself. You feel like everything is not going well. You couldn’t celebrate your graduation ceremony, some of you couldn’t even work on your thesis and everything seems to get worse day by day. You can probably talk about this all day long and you won’t finish until midnight. So, you tried to ...

Beware because in this part you will find how you make me feel after all this time. What do you mean that I don’t love you anymore? After all these days with you, laughing and watching movies from Mr. Bean to Tom & Jerry. And gosh, how much we hate those horror movies, w he re all the ghosts look fake but we still are afraid of them. Don’t you dare to say that I forget the taste of your favorite food? I can even remember the smell of it. How you always stole a piece or two from my plate, but I let you anyway because it wasn’t my favorite food. I just loved to see you eat it. Wait, I should say, I still and will always love to see you happy eating your favorite food. I can tell you this. You left a big part of you in my days in the future, in some of the clothes that I choose to wear. Something black or grey t-shirt. You left a little bit in my choice of food. In the movies and books, I read. And in some kindness that I never realized I just adopted from you. How t...

Bolehkah aku singgah sebentar? Duduk di antara kaki-kaki yang menjulur dan merebahkan punggungku pada dekapanmu. Aku terlalu lelah untuk bercerita. Jadi, bolehkah jika aku memejamkan mataku dan tertidur pulas di pangkuanmu? Aku ingin mendengar nyanyian-nyanyian alammu. Suara lembutmu yang diminta surga. Ternyata kau benar, dunia ini terlalu muram untuk jiwaku yang penuh harapan-harapan dan doa darimu. Kau sibakkan kabut-kabut yang menghalangi setiap pandanganku. Bukan dengan tanganmu, tapi dengan doa yang kau panjatkan ketika malam belum hilang. Bolehkah aku meminta sesuap nasi dari piringmu? Aku tahu kau akan selalu memberikan porsi terbanyak sedangkan kau hampir mati kelaparan. Apakah aku boleh meminta segelas air dari sumurmu?