Midnight Thoughts

"Go then!" Said he. "I won't!" I shouted. Tears started to blurred my vision. "This is the chaotic madness I've even been into. The feeling hurts but feels good at the same time. I don't even know what I am doing." I continued. And he started to walk away.

Beberapa saat yang lalu, saya meminta teman-teman di Instagram untuk memberikan saya satu kalimat yang nantinya akan saya kembangkan menjadi sebuah cerita.  Berikut ini satu kalimat dari Kak Ikhwan (@ikhwanhardiman) "Budi kecil kuyup menggigil, menahan dingin tanpa jas hujan di simpang jalan Tugu Pancoran sambil menjajakan koran" Macet. Jalan mana yang masih tampak aspalnya pada sore ini. Semuanya dipenuhi oleh kendaraan yang bergegas pulang, tapi tak bisa bergerak. Pekikan klakson dan deru amarah penghuni ibu kota tak henti-hentinya bertaut-tautan. Seakan-akan kekesalan mereka akan memberi celah untuk mereka bergerak. Yang ada hanya memperkeruh genangan air yang mulai meninggi. Lampu-lampu jalan mulai membiaskan cahayanya. Menerangi sosok kecil kurus kering. Namun kini ia tak lagi kering. Mereka memanggilnya Budi, putus sekolah, tapi tak pernah berhenti belajar. Si Budi kecil kuyup menggigil, menahan dingin tanpa jas hujan di simpang jalan Tugu Pancoran sambil menjajak...

This one I made to complete a challenge given by my dear friend Hanna (tumblr: pluienmars). Thank you for always supporting me but still be my pain in the ass.  P.s I finally finished this story with a help of inspiration from my own idol @_ntlmd (instagram), Her artworks always give me a lot of new idea to write.  Merci.  WE DID EXIST I saw her. Looking tiredly while drinking a huge cup of coffee. I wanted to tell her that a hot chocolate might be better for her lonely heart. But her bitter-looking face held my breath. I saw another girl. Her nose scrunched as hard as her life problem. It hit her right in the middle of her eyes that even her own shadow was hiding from her. I got home early today that I was tired of looking at the world. But I found what I always afraid of. My reflection. She just looked as tired as the girl who drank a huge cup of coffee today, and bitter-looking like the girl with thousand of problems. We did exist. The bitter...

I met you when I was eighteen. Everything could happen in your eighteen of age. But, I don't know your story, so I'll tell you mine. In eighteen, I broke someone's heart. I laughed on the first day and cried on the next day. Eighteen weeks after that, I chose you to be my heartbreaker. Maybe someone who could break my heart next. You did. A couple times, hundreds. I counted. But, that's okay because I blew them away once you blew those blueberry juicy smoke to my lips. You broke my heart. Again. Mais, ton sourire moqueur... s'est emparè de mon ceour... But, your pretty smile captured my heart.  Connecting the pieces one by one. I have loved you since I was eighteen. I have fallen for you since our little rendezvous, and I won't stop since then.

Once my father told me, if I ever feel empty I should fill my heart with kindness and calmness will comes towards me. Once I saw you smoking your lungs out, I told you to stop and you blew even more smoke. The smell of the cigars filled the room. "This is how I fill emptiness," You said, You were right. You filled the emptiness of the room. But your eyes reminds empty. You wanted to cry but even the tears won't fill them. You've going through a lot of pain. I see it from yout scars

Minggu 28 April 2013 Keenan, kau bilang kau akan pulang. pukul 10 pagi, tidak kurang, tidak lebih. Pesawatmu akan mendarat di bandara kecil ini pada hari Minggu, 28 April 2013. Dengan senang hati aku menunggumu. Aku juga membawa serta coklat kesukaanmu. Kau selalu pusing sehabis terbang. Pukul 09.47 aku sudah menunggumu, sesekali menjinjit karena pandanganku terhalang oleh tubuh gempal ibu-ibu di depanku. Aku tidak ingin menerobos, si ibu itu pasti juga menunggu orang yang dicintainya. Pukul 10.00 sudah banyak orang berjalan keluar dari pintu kedatangan. menyambut dan disambut oleh orang-orang yang setia menunggu mereka. sekali pun itu, aku belum melihatmu.  Nan, sudah pukul 10.35 apakah kopermu belum datang? Apa kau terlalu pusing hingga harus minum sebotol soda di dalam? Bandara mulai sepi dan kerumunan yang menanti pesawat berikutnya telah datang. Aku mencoba menghubungimu berkali-kali, tapi kau tidak menjawab panggilanku. 19 kali. Nihil. Bahkan nomormu tidak aktif, Kau ...

“I can’t sleep. Again. Help me. I think too much.” She said desperately. I watched her barely breathing, trying to swallow all the oxygen around us. I kept silent. “stop trying.” I said, “you need to let it go sometimes, just like smoking, if you keep the smoke in your mouth, you’ll get a terrible cough.” I continued. “I don’t smoke.” Said she. “that’s a metaphor, you silly.” I brushed her hair. “just like us, we are not real,” “Of course, we are real, our relationship is real, at least my love towards you is real.” She restrained. “I love you.” “sweetheart, if we are real, they could see me, and they won’t laugh at you.” “I’m sorry dear, are you okay? Who are you talking to? Are you lost? What are you doing here alone?” someone interrupted us. “I think it’s time for you to let me go, good night  love.” And I vanished away.