Midnight Thoughts

Malam ini kita bertemu di sebuah cafe di daerah Dago Pakar, Bandung. Ditemani dengan udara yang dingin, pemandangan Kota Bandung dan lampu-lampunya yang seperti kumpulan bintang. Setiap lima menit sekali aku mengulang kata “cantik” untuk memuji pemandangan yang Tuhan berikan pada kita malam ini. Tuhan baik ya, memberikan hiburan melalui indera penglihatan kita ketika perasaan kita berkecamuk. Kau dengan badai di aliran darahmu, dan aku dengan beban seberat gajah di jantungku. Tuhan Maha Baik memberikan kita waktu untuk berbicara sekali lagi, melontarkan setiap cerita lama yang mencekik leher kita. Semua ucapan kita terangkum dalam tegukan teh panas dalam  tea pot  berwarna putih. Apakah ini akhir dari segala kata pengantar yang aku susun sedemikian rupa hingga kau paham dengan segala latar belakang dan alasan-alasanku? Mungkin di setiap perjumpaan memang ada perpisahan yang entah mengapa, tangan kita tak berhenti melambai. Atau kaki yang tak kunjung beranjak di saat wakt...

Dia mengajarkanku sebuah kata baru yang tak pernah kukenal sebelumnya. ‘Forgiveness’ kata yang cukup asing bagiku. Dia membaginya menjadi 3 suka kata for-give-ness. “Terdapat kata ‘give’ di dalamnya, yang berarti memberi. Untuk memaafkan seseorang kau harus memberikan mereka rasa maaf itu.” Ujarnya. “Terkadang dengan bisa merelakan atau sekadar memberi senyuman.” Dia menghela napas sebentar lalu melanjutkan perkataannya. Kuperhatikan matanya semakin berbinar dan teduh. “Pada saat hatimu hancur olehnya, kau harus mengambil serpihan-serpihan hatimu yang jatuh. Terkadang serpihan itu melukai tanganmu. Ketika kau sudah mengambil semua serpihan hatimu dan bangkit kembali, kau harus menyerahkan serpihan-serpihan hati itu kepadanya.” “Untuk apa? Bukannya hati itu telah dihancurkan olehnya?” Aku bertanya dengan rasa geram. Dia lagi-lagi tersenyum, “Sebagai pengingat baginya yang telah menghancurkan hati itu. Lama-kelamaan hati tersebut akan sembuh. Sama halnya dengan luka di tan...

A glass of whiskey perfectly fits in his right hand while his left is holding a cigar. He's still wearing his night robe with white and light blue stripes and a pair of comfy black slippers. He looks out of the windows slowly sipping his drink. Too early for me to see someone's drinking, but it's quite too late for his daily routine. "Are you still writing dear?" He asked after taking a sip and a deep exhale of his cigars. "Hm-hm." I hummed. "What is it about?" "Mostly about you." I huffed. This one taste so bad, I think. "About me? What would you expect from a man like me?" "Oh, everything actually." I killed the fire before it burns completely and ruins my fingers. "I'm desperate." He said and sit next to me. I close my book and look directly at him. "You're not desperate, dear father. You have a lack of company and that's why I'm here." "I'm always ...

I'm not a really good person when it comes to saying goodbye. I might be crying silently on your bed hugging your blanket and stay silent until you saw my tears. You might get distracted when you're packing all of your stuff into several boxes. Folding all of your clothes, put your favorite shoes into their boxes while listening to your favorite playlist. I want to make a playlist for you, but we just met a few weeks ago and I don't really know you that much to have a whole list of songs to describe you about how I feel about you. Once, I thought that I might not be able to fall in love again, to believe in any relationship that contains the word "boy". In fact, I start to look at them as friends, genderless creatures just because I don't want to fall in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. I inhale much deeper than I usually do, so I can collect all of your scents in a mason jar and keep it save somewhere in my room. The smell of your perfume, th...

I was laughing and enjoying our conversation a few moments ago, I was feeling empty right after she told me that she’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. Leaving me in this big, lonely place and crowded town with so many broken hearts and broken people. I was happy the other day when we spend our sleepless night outside Dunkin. We were talking and sharing our monotonous holiday. We swore that we yelled “Bonnes Vacances’ right after our last meeting in this crappy old campus. But I guess our voices weren’t loud enough, nor the sky won’t send our prayers. And he asked me how if I was okay. We chatted during our holiday I feel lonely, bitter, sad, bubbly exciting, outcast, stuck. I need company

Sst... Stay silent. You'll hear nothing because our voices aren't meant to be heard. We are extraterrestrials, as our bodies turn to green and our eyes are big enough to see your past. We are the unwanted creatures that will eat the heart out of you yet you're searching for us. We bring nothing but anything you'll ever want.  Come to us and catch these peculiar feelings. With electricity and some sort of burnt smell. If you are on your way to this party, make sure to bring your heart and misfit self. Don't forget to wear your best dress. You'll be in the right place with a bunch o unwanted creatures doing the things society forbid.  We are aliens of the society.  We do exist.  Aliens like us exist in this universe. we heart it

Shadows settle on the place, that you left Our minds are troubled by the emptiness Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time From the perfect start to the finish line And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs Setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong The lovers that went wrong We are the reckless We are the wild youth Chasing visions of our futures One day we'll reveal the truth That one will die before he gets there And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones 'Cause most of our feelings , they are dead and they are gone W e're setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home It was a flood that wrecked this And you caused it And you caused it And you caused it Well I've lost it all , I'm just a silhouette A lifeless face that you'll soon...