The Perks of Having Insecurities
I feel miserable when insecurities hit me in every possible way. I thought that why am I getting fatter and my face is getting chubbier. Why can't I feel confident in pictures like most girls on the internet? I started to hate them that they look so pretty and flawless and I want to be just like them. I started to learn how to put makeup on and trying lots of new fashion styles or starve myself and sometimes I feel so sick that I throw out. Yes, I did that.
These insecurities make me scared to take a picture of myself or even a selfie. I even hide behind that, "Nah, I don't like selfies," kind of thing. It's because I always feel much more insecure. Those negativities are eating my happiness. I'm afraid to smile in a picture and showing my teeth because I feel that my teeth are too small or my upper gum will show up. I'm afraid that my shoulder is too wide for a girl, and my jaws aren't in a perfect and same size and my chubby cheeks don't help me boost my confidence at all.
The same thing happens with my studies, I feel like that I already work hard but I just can't pronounce those "R" like a native, or my French is too English and I misplace imparfait with futur simple. The worst goes when I stutter in every production orale. When I forget every conjugasion I write and try to remember. I also thought that my English is getting worse and worse when someone laugh at my grammar error.
But all of my friends are always helping me without them knowing. The way they comment on my style or how they tell me that I just look like my mom. The way my friends excitedly read my writings before I post them and how they put a lot of positivity in every comment they gave me. How my senior teach me French for almost two years of my studies so I can get more than I can receive in class and all of her inspiring stories that keeps me dreaming and never give up. Or the way my other senior who I can talk to in the middle of the night until we see the sun rises, how she tells me that everything will be okay and that I'm not alone in this.
Their words are really helping me in every possible way.
I can't be more thankful for having them in my life.
I always want to thank everyone who comments on their friends instagram post with all those sparkles and hearts emojis and telling them how beautiful they are in their own unique ways. We're all beautiful, even when we think that our eyes aren't piercing enough or our makeups aren't flawless enough. We're all beautiful in every shape.
When we think that we aren't smart enough or it's hard to catch up to our professor speech or when we feel like we can't speak French fluently like others kids in our class (Shoutout to every literature students who got misjudged because lots of people think that literature is easy)
Most importantly that it is okay to be different. We just need to remember that there's a lot of people who will always support us.
These insecurities make me scared to take a picture of myself or even a selfie. I even hide behind that, "Nah, I don't like selfies," kind of thing. It's because I always feel much more insecure. Those negativities are eating my happiness. I'm afraid to smile in a picture and showing my teeth because I feel that my teeth are too small or my upper gum will show up. I'm afraid that my shoulder is too wide for a girl, and my jaws aren't in a perfect and same size and my chubby cheeks don't help me boost my confidence at all.
The same thing happens with my studies, I feel like that I already work hard but I just can't pronounce those "R" like a native, or my French is too English and I misplace imparfait with futur simple. The worst goes when I stutter in every production orale. When I forget every conjugasion I write and try to remember. I also thought that my English is getting worse and worse when someone laugh at my grammar error.
But all of my friends are always helping me without them knowing. The way they comment on my style or how they tell me that I just look like my mom. The way my friends excitedly read my writings before I post them and how they put a lot of positivity in every comment they gave me. How my senior teach me French for almost two years of my studies so I can get more than I can receive in class and all of her inspiring stories that keeps me dreaming and never give up. Or the way my other senior who I can talk to in the middle of the night until we see the sun rises, how she tells me that everything will be okay and that I'm not alone in this.
Their words are really helping me in every possible way.
I can't be more thankful for having them in my life.
I always want to thank everyone who comments on their friends instagram post with all those sparkles and hearts emojis and telling them how beautiful they are in their own unique ways. We're all beautiful, even when we think that our eyes aren't piercing enough or our makeups aren't flawless enough. We're all beautiful in every shape.
When we think that we aren't smart enough or it's hard to catch up to our professor speech or when we feel like we can't speak French fluently like others kids in our class (Shoutout to every literature students who got misjudged because lots of people think that literature is easy)
Most importantly that it is okay to be different. We just need to remember that there's a lot of people who will always support us.
 |
| 14 years old me who was too shy to ask people to take a picture of her |
Guess you just found your "earthless moment". Be bold!
ReplyDeleteI did! and you're one of the reason why. Thanks mate!
Delete